Finally finished Twilight

Twilight seems to be the new Harry Potter. In the way it’s taken off at least, in no way does it match it in storytelling, writing, nor even cover art for that matter. In fact, the only way it is in any way comparable to Harry Potter is that both series exploded from relative obscurity. There the comparison ends, and I feel dirty for bringing it up.

It tells the story of Bella Swan moving from sunny Phoenix to mouldy Forks. She looks on the move with dis-passion, not being able to adjust to the drop in temperature she’s so used to in the desert, but it quickly hots up as Edward Cullen moves onto the scene. This could have been an ordinary boy-meets-girl love story, but as it turns out it’s not, as Bella discovers Edward’s a vampire.

If anyone can tell me why this has any relevance to the book, please comment.

I’ll be honest: I only bothered picking this book up because I was waiting for my delayed train one day before Christmas and I felt like helping WH Smith shift one of the hundred copies of the book they had lying around. I also had to see why my friend, Nicola, hated this book so fiercely. Maybe she’s just over reacting, I thought as I thumbed noncommittally through the pages, Nik has high standards after all. But no, Stephenie Meyer really does come out with some incredibly stupid things, and should at the very least fire her copy-proofer.

To be completely honest, the first… twelve chapters were completely useless to the story. They could have easily been done in maybe two or three chapters with exactly the same sentiment. Because of how boring I was finding the first half of the book it actually took me a while to get through it. The tedious repetition of her going to school, coming home, making some fish based food, a quick phone call to Jess (who seemed to bond with Bella very well, despite them not actually seeming to have much in common), before heading off to bed seemed to go on for pages and pages, with nothing at all happening.

Maybe that’s standard practice for “love” stories, I just don’t see why 200 pages had to be taken up by it before anything remotely interesting happens.

Fortunately though, by the thirteenth chapter – definitely my favourite – things do start to get better. So much better in fact that I read the rest of the book in a day, compared with the two months it took me to read the first half.

Calling this a love story, or a romance novel, annoys me though. These people clearly aren’t in love. We’re told throughout the story that a vampire trait is how beautiful they look to their prey, mesmerizing so. All Bella is experiencing is an attraction specifically designed to make her feel this way, to make her lured to him, so he can eat her. There’s nothing romantic about that. He only feels that way because for the first time in a hundred years he can’t read someone’s thoughts. He’s shielded from her ugly thoughts that he hears from every other human which probably turn him off from them. The only actually thing drawing him to her is her smell, another thing designed to make him eat her!

In sum? Skip the book. Watch the movie (it doesn’t have two hundred pages of high school drama).

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